How To Be The Worst Mom EVER!

worst-mom-everIf you are a mom, then I know you can relate to this because I know you’ve had one of those “worst Mom ever” days.  Sometimes it’s because you’re beating yourself up about something you wished you had done differently and sometimes it’s because your kids let you know!  I actually got this note from my daughter a few years ago.  I have no idea what led to that “worst mom ever” moment, but I must have thought it was pretty amusing because I snapped a picture of it.  I actually found this picture yesterday when I was looking for something else, and it just so happened that yesterday BOTH kids let me know I was the worst mom ever.

In case you need some tips on how to be the worst mom ever, here you go:

  • Tell your kids that they have to go to bed on time because they will be up late the following night and you want to make sure they get enough sleep
  • Tell your kids they have to clean their rooms and get their chores done before they can do anything fun like swimming
  • Confiscate an iPod when you find your kid up texting late at night…and texting people they aren’t even allowed to be texting for that matter
  • And if you want to get even more “worst mom ever” points, read THROUGH their texts that they shouldn’t have been texting in the first place!
  • Tell your kids that they can’t have dessert or treats before they finish their dinner or eat their vegetables
  • Tell your kids that they can’t go on a trip for 3 days with a family you’ve never met

If this is what it takes to be the worst mom ever, I’m OK with it because I know (or hope at least) that one day they’ll be thanking me for those worst mom moments!  People often tell me that my daughter is my “mini me” and when I was a kid, I know I wrote a few (or maybe even more than a few) of these worst mom ever letters to my mom.  I know that my mom is laughing as she hears about these moments now because she can relate, because she knows what comes around goes around, and because now I’m thanking her for all those “worst mom moments” and for caring and setting limits because they helped me to become the person I am today.

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Thankfully my collection of “Best mom Ever” notes outnumbers my “worst mom ever” notes so far (we’ve still go a few years left before we hit the teen years, though), and the notes like this make it all worth it!  I honestly never thought, though, that I would be having some of the hard conversations I’ve already had to have with my barely 9 year old.

What are some of your Worst Mom Ever Moments?

Adventures in Parenting: dealing with my strong-willed child!

Here’s the story known as I was “that” parent who took my kid to Cici’s Pizza in last year’s Christmas Pajamas (which by the way are slightly too small and incredibly faded).  I had a good reason, though!  My son had always been very easy-going!  This is something I heard over and over again from babysitters, daycare providers, and basically anyone who ever came in contact with him.  We didn’t have terrible twos with him, but when he turned five, suddenly the FEROCIOUS fives hit us!  My easy-going little boy suddenly became very stubborn and strong-willed.  The slightest things (ranging from not having the “right” shirt to wear to not being able to watch Netfix) can lead to insane tantrums.

Friday night was one of “those” nights in our house.  We’d had a great week, and I had planned on taking the kids to Cici’s Pizza, which is one of their favorite places, as a reward.  For some reason unknown to me, when we got home from school, my son decided to put on his Christmas pajamas.  About 10 minutes before we needed to leave, I told him that he needed to change which led to a tantrum.  I tried to remain calm (and for those who have been there and done that, you know that’s no small feat!) and warned him that we were leaving in 10 minutes with or without him.  When he still refused to change, I went out to the car with my daughter hoping that would get him to change and hurry out.  No such luck.  His screams could be heard throughout the neighborhood, though, so I decided I needed a different tactic and QUICK.

Of course, the easiest option would have been to just stay home, but that wouldn’t have been fair to my daughter, who hadn’t done anything wrong.  Too often lately, I feel like she has to sacrifice because of our struggles with her brother’s behavior.  So, I tried a new tactic.  I told him that he had 5 minutes to get dressed or he was going to Cici’s with us in his pajamas.  I set the timer and walked away.  One minute before the timer was set to go off, I gave him one last warning.  He didn’t budge.  So I carried him out to the car kicking and screaming in last year’s Christmas pajamas.

When we got there, he was still carrying on and of course refusing to get out of the car.  I knew I couldn’t leave him in the car, but didn’t particularly want to drag him screaming in Christmas pajamas into the restaurant either.  Either was I looked like “the bad parent.”  I finally was able to get him to calm down and we had a conversation about choices and consequences.  He was worried about being embarrassed and we talked about that, too.  For what it’s worth, I think I was probably more embarrassed than him, but not embarrassed enough to miss out on this chance to teach him a lesson!

Even though our evening had gotten off to a rocky start, I had some great conversations with my kids over dinner and I was amazed at the insight that came from my five year old as he processed his behavior.  As parents we always have to pick our battles, and I am glad that I decided to tough this one out.  A few times since then, as he has started to approach the tantrum phase, he has stopped himself and said that he wants to make “Good choices” and that he was “glad he went to Cici’s in his pajamas because it taught him how to make good choices.”  Now he knows, too, that I am going to follow through on the things that I say.  My hope is that as we go through all of these struggles now while he’s young, things will be much easier as he gets older.  A girl can dream, right?  I have no doubts, though, that in the mornings when I’m battling with him to get dressed for school and I tell him that he can go to school in his clothes or his pajamas, he won’t doubt for a second that I will follow through!

What struggles do you face with YOUR kids?  How do you handle your stubborn or strong-willed children?